Look, everyone needs recognition. As such, we’ve decided to hand out a handful of our Worst Place Ribbons to some of this week’s biggest jerks, losers and dorks. And no, they’re not all going to Donald Trump. That’d be way too easy!
Winner: The cat that steals underwear
Let’s be honest — all cats are douchebags. They only show love when they want something, and otherwise they lay around dreaming of a plan to takeover and ruin our lives. Still, there’s one little kitty who’s even worse than the others. That’s right, a real-life cat burglar who lives in Hamilton, New Zealand. Every day, rather than bringing home a dead mouse or a bird, Brigit gives her owner Sarah a different pair of underwear or sock stolen from one of her neighbours’ houses. “You can’t not notice it when a pair of stripy men’s underpants arrives in your hallway when you’re living in an all-girl house,” Sarah told the CBC. Brigit the criminal cat has brought home over 30 pairs of boxers and more than 100 socks.
WORLD’S MOST ANNOYING SIBLING
Winner: The Kardashians
It’s a three-way tie for “World’s Most Annoying Sibling” — and all the prizes go to those dreaded Kardashian sisters. We simply can’t escape their nasally voices and ever-puffy lips as they continue to dominate pop culture. This week, however, they’ve landed in some legal hot water for failing to promote their fashion line. The three started their Kardashian Beauty line through Hillair Capital Management, under the pretense that they’d actively promote it. Turns out they didn’t follow through on their contract, and are now looking at a $10 million lawsuit. Think of all the Kylie Jenner lipstick you could buy with that money!
WORLD’S OKAY-ISH MOM
Winner: Sarah Palin
With her brown leather blazers and tendency to say super embarrassing things, former vice president hopeful Sarah Palin has all the makings of a classic goofy mama. That said, at least she’s trying — despite her failings in the political arena, she’s made a career as an ever-viral talking head on TV. Up next, she’s heading to the courtroom. Despite her lack of legal expertise, Palin will take her can-do attitude and firecracker personality into the judge’s chair, with a Judge Judy style TV show set to premiere in 2017.
SUCH A JERK
There’s a reason our “Such a Jerk” ribbon perfectly matches Superman’s cape — this guy seriously can’t get it together. In this week’s Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, the hero chooses to start a city-destroying fight with fellow vigilante Batman. Sure, Batman’s gravelly voice gets annoying after a while, but in the battle of good vs. evil these two are on the same team. Worse yet, their big fight resulted in a blockbuster that’s getting terrible reviews from critics.
DIDN’T EVEN TRY
Winner: The Sad Grandpa’s kids
Poor Papaw (real name Kenneth Harmon) has since gone viral after five of his six grandkids failed to show up for a massive dinner. Now known as the Sad Grandpa, this retired ironworker went mega-viral after his granddaughter tweeted a somber photo of him. He made 12 burgers for his six grandkids, and she was the only one who showed up! Those other five grandkids certainly deserve our Didn’t Even Try ribbons. Not only did they break their poor grandfather’s heart, but they also missed out on some delicious looking burgs!
For more Worst Place Ribbons, go here.