How do you deal with jerks? Give them a balloon.


People can be jerks, which is why Jerk Balloons™ — and now Jerk Balloons™ II — exist. This checklist will help the jerk in question understand why they’re receiving a balloon. Who knows? Maybe they’ll change their jerk ways. And if you’re the one who acted like a jerk, just apologize — and don’t do it again.


  • Your inability to understand that laundry goes in the basket, not next to it.
  • You finished the roll of toilet paper and didn’t replace it.
  • You finished the milk and put the empty carton back in the fridge.
  • You ate your roommate’s food and didn’t replace it.
  • You left the toilet seat up. Again.


  • Your frequent, loud personal phone calls.
  • You came to work with a cold.
  • You took credit for someone else’s work.
  • You told a coworker they “look tired today.”
  • You ate someone else’s lunch.
  • You finished a pot of coffee and didn’t make a new one.


  • You took forever to order.
  • You were rude to the waiter.
  • You were on your phone throughout the meal.
  • You made us all wait while you Instagram’d your food.
  • You left the table when the bill arrived.
  • You tipped poorly/not at all.


  • You didn’t offer your seat to a pregnant or elderly person on the bus
  • You took up two parking spots.
  • You didn’t pick up after your dog. This isn’t France.
  • You cut in line. Again.
  • You caused a flight delay because you’re ridiculously disorganized.
Fairgoods is an online shop that sells type and fun gifts that use that type.

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